For the Swarm: fighting the mental war

My strategy paid off.

But now I am facing the biggest hindrance so far. I like winning, and I like being in top 8 platinum. I like the star next to my name. I love the idea of playing against diamond and being promoted there.

What does that do? Maybe for some this would be motivation enough to learn more and improve. For me this destroys the very core that makes me play good: being calm. As soon as my ranks rise up I suddenly am obsessed with winning. I start to stress, my fingers more tense, I misclick, I add all hatcheries to queen control group and all queens to hatchery control group. This happens right in the middle of a series of important injections and my queens are for some reason walking across the map towards each other, as if suddenly starting realization of some ancient plan to high five. I send lings into banelings, I ignore terran units and let them go wherever.

Sure, I can make this go away. I can start spreading creep instead of doing anything else and dropping so low in rank I don't care anymore. But then I will start playing good again and the history will repeat itself. As far as I can see this will never go away. I have to find a way to stop caring about rank. But how is it possible if I find it so much fun?


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